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The Pandemic Hotline
The Pandemic Hotline - By AwakenWithJP
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A little behind the scenes peek at the Pandemic Hotline handling the most important questions. Have you been confused about different social distancing guidelines, death counts, and testing? You’ll be confused no more as you watch the pandemic hotline operator gracefully dance right through the most pressing questions of our lockdown.
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- Category: No Credibility,Confusion / Unclear / Mistake,Pandemic/PlanDemic/ScamDemic,Unrealistic/ Unlikely/ Illogic
- Duration: 06:17
- Date: 2020-09-18 13:03:22
- Tags: no-tag
3 Comments
Video Transcript:
And then Macatlin, how can I help you today? Yeah, I've got a question about the PCR test used to diagnose COVID-19. Now on the actual packaging of the test, it says this test should not be used to diagnose COVID-19. So is there any problem using it to diagnose COVID-19? No problem at all. Makes sense, but it's a little confusing. Cool, but just to clarify, if the test comes back negative, you have it. If it comes back positive, you have it. Why, why you didn't have a test kit? Well, that way you'll know for sure you have it when you maybe have it. Have a great day. PAMDEMICATLINE Pam, Dan, Macatlin. Yeah, I'm having a little bit of an issue here. It looks like the government isn't sending me a $30,000 check for one of my patient's COVID deaths. Peculiar. What were your patient symptoms before they died? Oh, died? Well, no, they haven't died. They're still alive. Still alive? It sounds like a COVID death to me. Let me see what's going on with this. Ah, we had a system error. Sorry about that. Your money's on its way to you now. Mm, fantastic. Thank you. Thank you for death shopping with us. Bye-bye. How may I help you? Yeah. I need a little help here. I don't want you to do. Your sane obesity is a high risk factor for the illness. Potentially the highest risk factor. Yeah, and then all the gyms are ordered to close down. Yeah. So, how am I supposed to not be obese if I can't go to the gym? Mm, I'm not seeing the correlation here. How do you not see it? I don't think I'm seeing what you're seeing me not see here. Well, gyms help people not be obese, but I can't go to the gym. How am I not supposed to be obese? Have you tried eating disorder? Oh, what? No, I haven't. Oh, yeah, they can be very slendering, and they don't buy light any of our health protocols. I've never did think of that. Thank you for your help. You're welcome. You might want to think about losing some weight. You sound fat. No offense. No, I am. Okay. Thank you for calling. Don't eat too much. Bye-bye. Okay, and then my outline. Yeah, like, um, hi. So I'm a little confused. The guidelines all say that sunlight kills the virus, but the guidelines also say we have to stay inside, like, am I missing something? Yeah, it's pretty anecdotal as to whether the sun actually exists or not. It is? Completely. World Health Organization hasn't released an official position statement on the sun's existence. So until then, you'll just want to stay inside. But like, I can see the sun out of my window right now. Just don't say that on social media. Those suns are you for not repeating what the World Health Organization says. Oh, like, that's a pretty good point. Have a good day. So sun, bye-bye now. Pandemic outline. How can I help you? I, um, I'm a little worried. Feels like there's some missing pieces to the puzzle that we're not really being told about. Like, what? You know, Bill Gates controls the World Health Organization, and I don't know if he's a qualified medical authority fit to lead the charge on a global pandemic. Why would you say that about Bill Gates? Hmm, the guy's a computer programmer, not a doctor. Well, that's why he's so qualified. Computer programmers have way more medical training than doctors have. Like, who do you think programs, all the computers that doctors learn from? Computer programmers? That's right. Without them, you have no doctors. Bill Gates practically invented medicine. And please don't use the words naming name or God's name. Bye-bye. Pandemic outline. Oh, hi-yeah. Uh, so, I've got a question for you. It sounds like all the public health policies that are in place. We're put into place back when we thought the death count was going to be in the millions, but things aren't really turning out that way. So, isn't it time we like really open things back up? Hmm, that's an interesting thought. We've never considered that. But no, people are dying left right in the center. I don't think they are. Then how do you explain all the bodies? Uh, I don't see anybody's. Well, people are dying. But people died every day before COVID. That's actually a false information according to our fact checkers. The first recorded death in human history didn't occur in tail COVID. But my grandparents died like 15 years ago. No, I mean, yes they did. I went to their funeral. Hmm, no. It sounds like they fake their death to get away from you. You should quit taking it so personally. It wasn't your fault. You're the rest of your day, champ. How can I help you? I wonder if you can help me. I haven't been able to open my business since last March when you guys told me to close it down. I'm severely suicidal. My kids are going hungry. And my wife developed a drinking crowd trying to cope with it all. Sounds like you're doing exactly what we need you to do to stay safe. Keep it up. But I need help. Oh, right. Well, if you do decide to kill yourself out of despair, could you do us a solid and on the suicide note just indicate that it was a COVID death? Yeah, but I can really use some of that. All right, sport. Have a great day. I want to thank the sponsor of this video, Blueblocks, my favorite evidence-based blue-like blocking glasses. What there's no question about is a harmful effect of blue-like from our devices and indoor lighting at night. It interferes with our sleep, screws up our hormonal system, and ultimately we're left less healthy with less energy. But blue-block solves that problem for you. You just put on a pair at night and they block the blue-like. That way you're quickly and easily protected so you can get good sleep, have a balanced hormonal system, and wake up the next day with abundant energy. I love blue blocks. I wear them every day. I just put on a pair as a sun's going down and I know I'm protected from blue-like. 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