2014 International Hoaxie Awards

Video Transcript:

Welcome back to the 2014 Golden Hoax Awards. Brought to you by Homeland Security's New Line, as high fashion has met here, has where bio-terror never looks so good. And by dhs.gov's New Show for Kids, Terror for Tots, hosted by Alex Jones. Terrorism just put blown up. Thank you. Thank you everybody. Thank you. To start our show this evening, we're going to show a few clips from the International Hoaxi Awards held in Tel Aviv earlier this month. This was the competition for best performance by an inanimate object in a hoax. And the competition was stiff as we'll soon see. The top three performances have already been selected. And here are the finalists. From the United States, the LAX Airport's shooting hoax. In this hoax, a fictitious 23-year-old gunman played by a balding middle-aged blow-up doll burst into an LAX food court before being confronted by a TSA-dressed crisis dummy. In exchange of fire, the heroic TSA dummy is shot nine times before the middle-aged blow-up doll himself finds out from a pool of tomato ketchup. Here's this hoax's most heart-hounding scene in a wild ride with fake limbs flailing in every direction. The LAX wheelchair racing spot team sets a new record in the 200-meter hoax dash beating Carlos Aradondo's team's old mark set up the Boston Marathon Hoax. Give it up for him. I mean it. Come on. I told you the competition was going to be stiff, didn't I? And next, from Spain, the Spanish Ebola victim hoax. In this hoax, an imaginary Spanish Ebola patient is being carefully transported by aircraft in what may be the greatest performance of all time by an emergency biocapsum. In this hoax's most poignant moment, a courageous emergency worker on the ground is overheard saying, bueno, estabalito, cosa estabacia, which, when translated into English means, hey, this f***ing thing is empty. Give it up for him. Come on. And now, before the winner is announced, a few words about our exciting new sponsor on DHS.GO. Alex Jones and his Terraphrta show. Alex will teach your kids the true meaning of fear as he explodes into wild rants. They're guaranteed to leave a lasting impression on your youngsters for the rest of their lives. Recommended praises 2-5. Go to dhs.gov forward slash terrifying forward slash children to tune in to the show. And follow Alex and his crew for the latest disinformation on government hoaxes from Sandy Hook to the new Ebola outbreak fabrication. And be sure to tune in as Alex turns the tables on top radio itself. Instead of people calling into Alex's show, Alex calls out to unsuspecting people and makes hard hitting points in a way only Alex can. How can I help you? I'll smash your teeth and whore. Excuse me? Shut up, bitch. Excuse me, sir. Who do you think you are calling my work and speaking to me like that? You're a moron to prove you're giving up who you're speaking to in my office and I don't appreciate that. Goodbye. You dumb son of a bitch. And the winner from the land of God's chosen people is real. The kidnap is Rayleigh Deans' hopes. In this award-winning hopes, three fictional is Rayleigh Deans. Our kidnap by the mosa. And people like Tomas, great-win. In an award-winning performance that won Richellie Frankl, Best Supporting Actress in an International Hope, she portrays the fraudulent mother of one of the mate-believed victims as she laughs and smiles all the way to the bench. In this video clip, we see why Israel took home the hope she in this category. This unforgettable performance by empty hospital buildings is finally never forget. It's either Rupert Bell and Beny and Sarah. And here's the love of the cool lunatic himself. Beny of the nut. Nothing y'all who excepting the award. Look at that hat, Bell. Somebody fast to musty. And I'm closer to her, of course. Beny never misses a chance to hammer up. Watch. Now that's definitely not culture. I hope I don't get that 3-8-M call from Mazzat again. And we'll be back soon with more of our show.