George Carlin On Mad TV NASA Moon Landing "Massive Global Hoax"

Video Transcript:

The reading caboose has arrived. I'm conductor Clark. And I miss Janice. Hey, who wants to learn about the letter H? I do, I do. Hmm, now what can we do with the letter H? We can hula hoop. Or creating massive global hooks. Oh! What Ernie's referring to is the Apollo 11 moon landing that supposedly took place on July 20th, 1969. To quote Neil Armstrong, this is one small step for man. And one giant lie to mankind. Speaking, Savior Sam! Yeah, hello, everybody, hello. Hi, take a take your Sam. Sam's been riding the rails ever since meen old Microsoft stole his formula for Windows 95. Hey, Sam. I hear you've got a story for the kids. I sure do, Miss Janice. And it's a real whiz banger. Once upon a time, there was a president named Kennedy. Woo! I promised to put a man on the moon before the end of the decade. Mr. President, didn't you also promise civil rights? That's another story, Trevor. Now choose the lie, go sleep with Judith Exner. Meanwhile, poor Annette NASA couldn't get a rocket into space. BOOM! They turned a plan B. I'm LBJ. Woo! The end of the decade is here, and there's still no Americans on the moon. Those russkes are going to beat us to it. All help you, Mr. President. Who the hell are you? I'm Stanley Kubrick. Now use the trick-size-learned while filming the movie 2001, a space odyssey, to fake a moon landing. And with a mafia, and we'll fund your scam to build a secret soundstage in Las Vegas. Good. While people fake their space, we'll keep the astronauts busy with horrors and gambling. Then they'll pay them off, or brainwash them, or kill them. Day end. Yay! Squawk? What is there, Eddie? Real proof it was our hoax? Squawk? Is this proof enough, Gully Bird? What? I used to fly the moon all the time. Hold on, Dan! Hey, hobo, Dan. How did you fly to the moon? With the only real astronaut, Dr. Timothy Leary. Oh, oh, bo-dan. Hey, that reminds me of a song. This old moon rocket ain't what it appears to be. Ain't what it appears to be. Ain't what it appears to be. This old moon rocket ain't what it appears to be. Because it was baked in a kiln in Japan. Yay! Thanks, hobo, Dan. That was fun, credible, and the truth. Oh, someone's bringing the doorbell to the safe room. To the safe room. Look at all this all the time that we have for now. We'll be back with more reading later. Until then, the most important part of reading is reading between the lines.