9/11 Conspiracy Theory Explained in 5 Minutes ~ James Corbett

Video Transcript:

On the morning of September 11, 2001, 19 men armed with box cutters directed by a man on dialysis in a cave fortress halfway around the world using a satellite phone and a laptop directed the most sophisticated penetration of the most heavily defended airspace in the world. Powering the passengers in the military combat train pilots on four commercial aircraft before flying those planes wildly off course for over an hour without being molested by a single fighter interceptor. These 19 hijackers, devout religious fundamentalists who like to drink alcohol, snort, cocaine, and live with pink-haired strippers managed to knock down three buildings with two planes in New York. While in Washington, a pilot who couldn't handle a single engine, Cessna was able to fly a 757 in an 8,000-foot descending 270-degree corkscrew turn to come exactly level with the ground. The Pentagon and the budget analyst office where DOD staffers were working on the mystery of the $2.3 trillion the Defense Secretary Donald Trump's felt had announced missing from the Pentagon's coffers in a press conference the day before on September 10, 2001. Luckily, the news anchors knew who did it within minutes, the pundits knew within hours, the administration knew within the day, and the evidence literally fell into the FBI's lap that a hijacker's passport was found blocks from the world trade center crash site if you can believe that. But for some reason, a bunch of crazy conspiracy theorists demanded an investigation into the greatest attack on American soil in history. That investigation was delayed, underfunded, set up to fail, a conflict of interest, and a cover-up from start to finish. It was based on testimony extracted through torture the records of which were destroyed. It failed to mention the existence of WTC7, Abledanger, P-Tech, Sibel Edmonds, OBL and the CIA and the drills of hijactor craft being flown into buildings that were being simulated at the precise same time that those events were actually happening. It was lied to by the Pentagon, the CIA, the Bush administration, and as for Bush and Cheney, well, no one knows what they told it because they testified in secret off the record, not under oath, and behind closed doors. It didn't bother to look at who funded the attacks because that question is ultimately of little, practical significance. Still the 9-11 commission did brilliantly answering all of the questions the public had, except most of the victim's family members' questions, and pinned blame on all the people responsible, although no one so much has lost their job, determining the attacks were... ...because... ...we are government at least, and I don't think the prior government could envision flying airplanes in the buildings. Except the Pentagon, FEMA, NORAD, and the NRO. The CIA destroyed 2.5 terabytes of data on Abledanger, but that's okay because it probably wasn't important. The SEC destroyed their records on the investigation into the insider trading before the attacks, but that's okay because destroying the records of the largest investigation in SEC history is just part of routine record keeping. This is classified the data that they used for their model of WTC7's collapse, but that's okay because knowing how they made their model of the collapse would jeopardize public safety. The FBI has argued that all material related to their investigation of 9-11 should be kept secret from the public, but that's okay because the FBI probably has nothing to hide. This man never existed, nor is anything he had to say worthy of your attention, and if you say otherwise, you are a paranoid conspiracy theorist and deserve to be shunned by all of humanity. Likewise him, him, him, and her, and her and him. Osama bin Laden lived in the Cape Fortress in the hills of Afghanistan, but somehow got away. Then he was hiding out in Torra Bora, but somehow got away. Then he lived in a botabod for years, taunting the most comprehensive intelligence dragnet employing the most sophisticated technology in the history of the world for a decade, releasing video after video with complete impunity and getting younger and younger as he did so, before finally being found in a daring seal-team raid which wasn't recorded on video, in which he didn't resist, or uses wife as a human shield, and in which these crack special forces operatives panicked and killed this unarmed man, supposedly the best source of intelligence about those dastardly terrorists on the entire planet. Then they dumped his body in the ocean before telling anyone about it. Then a couple dozen of that team members died in helicopter crash in Afghanistan. This is the story of 9-11 brought to you by the media which told you the hard truths about, and if you have any questions about this story, you are a batshit paranoid tinfoil dog abusing baby hater and will be reviled by everyone. If you love your country and or freedom, happiness, rainbows, rock n' roll, puppy dogs, apple pie, and your grandma, you will never ever express doubts about any part of this story to anyone. Ever. This has been a public service announcement by the friends of the FBI CIA NSA DIA SEC MSM White House NIST in the 9-11 Commission. Because ignorance is strength.